"Christmas Music is Rubbish" Shock.
'Tis the season to go shopping, and when you go shopping in
November and December you will inevitably be subjected to a constant stream of
saccharin twaddle from the in-store PA system.
A few years ago this may have been tolerable. It didn't start
until December and it wasn't universal. Only the big department stores seemed
to insist on "entertaining" their customers in this way.
Now it's different.
Every tin-pot newsagent has a Christmas
CD on repeat from the middle of October until New year's day.
It's not just
Bing Crosby and the terrible Phil Spector Christmas album these days either, I
blame it on Slade. Since they guaranteed their old age pensions by hitting no.1
with "Merry Xmas Everybody" in 1973, the world has attempted to jump on their
That tune charted again in 1980, 1981, 1982, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1986
and 1998, what a record...
Mud followed with "Lonely This Christmas" in 1974 and the die
The amount of absolute cobblers that has come out at Christmas has
to be heard to be believed (but please don't play it to me whilst I'm
We've had schmaltz from such luminaries as George Harrison, Paul
McCartney, Elton John, Greg Lake, Jon Bon Jovi and, of course, Whigfield. The
Goodies and others took the mickey but the overwhelming flavour is one of
The situation is so bad that a campaign has been started to
reduce the amount of Christmas Muzac that we are subjected to whilst shopping.
After all, if you are listening to the radio and a piss-poor Christmas record
comes on, you can change the station; but if you're in a shop you are a captive
audience, you have no option but to leave.
I suggest walking into various shops where Christmas Music is
playing, stopping and cocking an ear, then saying in a loud clear voice: "This
music is crap. I refuse to make any purchases in this establishment!"
should then turn on your heel and march briskly out.
It's a lovely image
isn't? A constant stream of people walking into supermarkets, cocking ears,
declaiming and stalking out again!
Do it today, you know it makes sense.
If we don't do
something soon it's going to happen all over again....
By the way, if you want to get into the spirit, have a listen to
some of Uncle Dave's Christmas
© Winamop & DA 2003
Read old page 94s here.