Blake Schnellenberger had to admire
Mitzie Kerfuffle a little bit.
Almost as much as he feared her ability
to fuck up everything he worked so hard for. Mitzie had an uncanny knack of
finding a loose thread and pulling it. Bad news. Tonight she was drunk as
usual and the conversation devolved further and further.
What Blake wanted to tell her was don't
ever fuck with ME ever again.
Blake could feel Mitzie's pain deep
inside because he knew what that felt like. To feel alone and scared and pissed
off and hopeless and helpless and wanting to dig out of that hole, that
quicksand with every fiber.
The problem with Mitzie is she was
fearless. Mitzie unscrewed the top of the bottle.
Glug glug glug.
Her heard spasmed involuntarily as she
grimaced at the awful taste of the cheap vodka that kicked like a mule and
filled her belly with fire. Pushing 45. That door was almost closed. She looked
at the mirror and then took the empty bottle and chucked it at the wall.
Precious Boo Boo Kitty let out a loud hiss. It was time to do what Mitzie had
been doing every waking minute for months...check-in on Montgomery's social
media posts. Her teeth gnashed as she saw his latest post. An article on
internet dating.
With fury she typed out "HOW DARE YOU
ADVICE (sic) OTHERS ON DATING YOU COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT! WHY DONT YOU TELL
EVERYONE HOW YOU SUCKED ON MY LOWER LIP LIKE IT WAS A PUSSY AND PROMISED TO
GIVE IT TO ME REAL GOOD...WHAT A ROMEO! "
Then she erased it and went to her FB
page and wrote, To quote the immortal Leonard Cohen-"-halle-fucking lujah!" I
am reborn...then she texted Blake...he was always nice.
[Text: Blakie, I've been at SharkPool
for more than 3 months do you think I should talk to Bob about getting a raise
and change in title?]
[Text: IDK Mitzie, It took me a couple
of years to get the top spot and I had to pay my dues and then some...dealing
with a family situation right now...sorry...maybe we could talk during the
week?]
[Text: I'm not saying you got the job
handed to you Blake-- I just feel like Bob doesn't take me seriously and I've
got a lot of ideas... should I text him?]
[Text: Definitely NOT. Mr. Beauregarde
already told me he is tired of getting texts and emails from you all the time
and he made that clear in no uncertain terms... He threatened to fire all of us
if you keep texting him all the time. It's Sunday night Mitzie. He has a
family]
[Text: What are you fucking afraid of
Bob? Is that why you kiss Montgomery's weasly ass all the time.]
[Text: Mitzie, I'm dealing with family
stuff right now but trust me when I tell you this, if you cross the line with
me again with another disrespectful text, I will handle your problems with
SharkPool myself. I don't need to get drawn into your bad drama with Montgomery
and I certainly don't want to work with anyone who disrespects me or is
disloyal]
[Text: I hate that little prick
Montgomery so much Blake he promised me things and then... and then.. showed
his true colors... all yellow -- a total coward... I'm going to quit this lousy
newsletter too...God bless you, Blake, you are the only good person in the
bunch and also Ethel, she's a sweetheart too...]
[Text: and another thing Mitzie I'm not
afraid of Mr. Beauregarde, I just respect protocols and boundaries... I wish
you would too.]
[Text: Fuck that Blake-- If I see that
little motherfucker Montgomery at the water-cooler I'm going to kick him in the
balls and scratch out his eyes... do you think I was raised to be treated like
a putana who gets fucked and thrown away like a piece of garbage? I have more
self-pride than that. I was the leader of my girl scout troop and I was voted
most likely to star in a reality show by my high school class. I don't give a
fuck about protocols -- I want to get paid and I want Montgomery
fired.
[Text: I can't do this right now
Mitzie-- like I said it's Sunday night and I am dealing with bigger problems
than your lover's quarrel...and as far as I know, there are absolutely no
grounds to fire Montgomery. If there is anybody who deserves to be let go
because of improper behavior it's you Mitzie... I can't keep warning you--no
more bothering Mr. Beauregarde]
[Text: Blake that little prick
Montgomery tried to fuck me in the backdoor... can you believe that shit? Did
he think I was some sort of prostitute? I'm a good girl. I don't do that for
anybody but my husband when I find him... [sobbing] that kid's a total skeevy
perv. He should be fired for trying to rape me Blake... He wanted to sodomize
me [sobbing] who does that on a second date?]
[Text: Jeez, I'm sorry Mitzie... I know
you are upset...maybe just calm down, wash your face with cold water, take a
walk or something... it's not good to get so worked up.]
[Text: we are in my bed and he flips me
over on my hands and knees like a dog Blake... and then all of a sudden I feel
his finger in my asshole... he put some KY on it thank G-d for that but I
seriously think he wanted to do me in the shitter... who does that Blake... I
wanted to give this kid babies and make him meatloaf and potatoes my
family recipe, and have a nice life together... he fucked it all up and now
when I see his smarmy little smile all I can think of is how I want to bash him
in his mother-fucking face Blake... he's no better than a fucking Harvey
Weinstein or Jeffrey Epstein in my book, Blake]
[Text: Ok, listen Mitzie, Let's talk
tomorrow when you aren't so upset... from what you are describing and this is
definitely not my business and definitely not anything that I should be dragged
into... your relationship with Montgomery... sounds like it started off as a
consensual situation and then took a bad turn... you are both adults and you
both...]
[Text: My ass Blake... that little
weasel tried to fuck my ass with his tiny little prick... Madone!... Blake
would you ever do that to a proper lady?]
[Text: Mitzie: I'm sorry I'm going to
have to go... I'm not comfortable with you discussing your personal life like
this with me--it puts me in a very awkward position. I'm sympathetic to you and
I think you have a number of terrific qualities but I'm not the person to speak
to about this sort of stuff.]
[Text; That's fine Blake-- I'll just
call Bob and tell him his social media "expert", golden boy Montgomery tried to
stick his tiny pecker in his top reporter's bunghole... would you like that,
Blake since you are always so busy?]
[Text: Mitzie, you're not a reporter,
you are a production associate and don't threaten me... and if you keep
bothering Mr. Beauregarde he will fire the whole lot of us. He said exactly
that to me regarding your crazy texts...]
[Text: My texts are crazy? I'm not the
one sticking a finger up somebody else's brown starfish Blake... I think Bob
would love to know his Social Media Golden Boy is a frickin
pervert.]
[Text: Mitzie, If you want to go ahead
and get everybody fired including yourself, Go right ahead...I gotta
go.]
[Text: You're right Blakie, I had too
much to drink and I feel like hurling... God bless you, Blake, you are one of
the good ones I am so blessed to have you in my life-If only I could punch that
weasly motherfucker in the face I would be fine.]
[Text: OK ...feel better... take a cold
shower and drink water...sounds like you are having a rough night.]
[Text: I love you so much Blake you are
like my guardian angel]
[Text: no problem, Mitzie get some sleep
and feel better]
[Text: Kissy Face emoji]
[Text: Thumbs up emoji]
Blake turned off his phone, walked to
the kitchen, popped the top on a cold beer and sat at the kitchen table shaking
his head.