Poems. By Jillian Reno.
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To The Girl
To the girl who laughed so freely,
and the brilliance in her smile.
Who'd fight to win, somehow lose,
and giggle all the while.
To the girl who never faltered,
and danced despite the rain.
Who saw hope in tomorrow,
and with ease, shrugged off her pain.
To the girl who found the silver,
that rimmed each somber cloud.
Who faced her fears with fierce resolve,
so her children could be proud.
That girl who now sits silent,
who couldn't find her voice.
While others left her broken,
and claimed she had a choice.
To the girl who laid there crying,
her hands across her chest.
Who awake still sees her nightmares,
and asleep can find no rest.
To the girl whose womb is empty now,
and whose cheeks are stained with tears.
Who tries to walk alone through hell,
but is crippled by her fears.
To the girl who let them hurt her,
and for all she's had to take.
who thinks she's carved of stone now,
because there's no heart left to break.
To that girl and who she could have been -
I'm sorry.
* * *
Test
Eagerly I watched the test,
as one line became two.
That day I just laid there,
and only dreamt of you.
The dreams have turned to nightmares, now.
They swore it must be done.
That day, sobbing, I laid there...
as two lines became one.
* * *
The Simplest Torture
Congratulations to your family!
The little package read.
Welcome your new baby!
Those bright pink letters said.
My hands gone cold and shaky,
I dropped it to the floor.
Quietly I stepped over,
And left it near the door.
Now curled up on the sofa,
My arms tight around my knees,
I die a little more inside -
I can't take days like these.
"I will not break down," I whisper,
And of course, again I fail.
Sometimes my worst torture,
Is delivered in the mail.
* * *
Screaming On Paper
Empty arms and heavy heart,
A love so tiny - lost.
With silent noble sacrifice,
It's you who paid the cost.
Thinking how it could've been,
Tears my heart in half.
I'd kill to just once see your smile,
Die twice to hear your laugh.
Curly hair and rosy cheeks,
Breath so soft and new.
I close my eyes and drift away,
To lighter thoughts of you.
Feels to have been just yesterday...
Gone a day it seems.
If you weren't meant to fill my arms,
I'll keep you in my dreams
* * *
DABDA
There never was denial,
the memories are real.
I've wallowed in my anger,
It's nearly all I feel.
Bargaining? I've done it -
God ignored my cry.
I'm drowning in depression,
Acceptance is a lie.
* * *
Hollowed
The house is just too quiet...
no one can hear my cries.
My hand floats to my stomach,
inside no baby lies.
"It isn't worth your life!" they said,
"You have to think of you!"
Hatefully, we ****** her...
and with her, I died too.
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