Surrealist Dreams
by Michael Estabrook
Beans
Im cold I never get cold
dont believe in pajamas
dont eat fruit either
who says that? I dont eat fruit
like theyre proud of it!
So I went into Todds foyer
to put away the bag of beans
I was carrying around
and of course the old woman
in the next apartment came down
at that exact moment
with her two
young daughters and I said
excuse me and while Todd
waited outside I hid
the bag of beans beneath the stairs.
Thick fog tonight returning home
from Hudson
their new home is perfect, roomy
clean, bright, white and shiny
but it was like they
were starting all over again
like newlyweds and hes over 70!
Not a bad thing really
just felt weird, depressing and odd
I feel funny saying it
because it is nice having a big
new house Im not denying them that
it just seems it should be more
a young persons domain
and what was all that
with me hiding the bag of beans
and being cold
I never get cold.
Im new in the shop
where they manufacture
metal parts and fixtures
end of the day time to go
I make sure the back door is locked
check some windows
flip switches to turn out the lights
but one switch closes only halfway
and suddenly fire bursts out
in the far corner
of the back basement the flames leaping
and clawing at the air
but there is no smoke just flames.
I quickly close the switch all the way
but the fire rages on
but only in that one corner
no wood burning or people getting hurt
I pull the alarm
co-workers appear immediately
seemingly popping out of the walls
concerned, more annoyed, not panicked
frowning in my direction
the new guy fucking-up as usual
everyone staring at the fire
from the edge of the basement
until a woman officer shows up
tall, short hair, sharply dressed
removes something from a cabinet
descends the stairs
to go put out the fire
and shes frowning at me too
Purple
Im over at Pattis house visiting her
were not married yet
its crowded and crazy there
lots of people especially children everywhere
I cant even spend time with her or talk to her
so as the sun begins to set I decide to leave
to sneak away on my bicycle so her mom wont see
and get insulted or annoyed or something
I think shes in the kitchen
so I dont leave through the back yard
but instead in the front
down the driveway into the street
but there are flowers everywhere I didnt
notice them before everywhere is thick with flowers
red blue yellow the lawn the driveway
even the street I can barely ride my bike
through them theyre so tall and thick
I make it to the street
but there she is Pats mom on the sidewalk
pruning some purple flowers on a fence
I try to turn back but too late
she sees me waves I wave back and smile
park my bike go back inside
theres no one there not even Pat
its all so quiet now and Im all alone waiting
but Im unsure for what
look out the window its still dusk
but all the flowers are gone and so is Pattis mom.
Turtles
On the beach with Pat, sun shining bright
shes close-by in a blue beach chair (she hates blue)
theres a lifeguard close-by too (in a yellow chair)
the waves are small, calm
when suddenly I see fins or something
sticking up out of the water
maybe 20 or so and they are moving slowly
into shore
I turn to the lifeguard, what are those?
he shrugs, Pat is reading a book
looking so cute in her floppy hat and sunglasses
I sneak closer to the water
turns out the fins are turtles! turtle legs actually
they are all floating calmly into shore
and theyre on their backs! big turtles
snappers and sliders, not normal sea turtles
with their feet sticking up
out of the water
Im amazed that they are on their backs
lifeguard says their rough carapaces
deal better with the sandy, rocky bottom
theyre fine, healthy, happy
I squat down in the surf touch one of them
such beautiful gentle creatures
Pat looks at me and smiles.
Escape
In the dark we slink
down the hallway
pass Freedman in his bed
he wakens grabs his flashlight
What is this?
Who are you?
we dash for it
Come back here you damnit!
at the far end
I exit through the back door
trying to be quiet
circle around back
enter the house again through
the screened-in porch into
a small room try
to lock the screen door
but cant and then Freedman
is there flashing his light
in my face and yelling
struggling with the door
to get in but finally
I lock the damn thing
and he cant get in
becomes quiet
then hes gone
time for me to make my get-away
out through the garage
find my bike hop on
ride off into the night
Coats
for a conference
in a dorm of some sort
shes with roommates on the second floor
Im with roommates on the third
even though we only just met
weve planned to meet
later in the night after everyone else
is asleep
Im anxious, pacing, watching
down in the stairwell
like Im waiting for her to show up
when a herd of guys, 5 or 6 of them
come in to party in her room
so I realize our plan
for the evening has been dashed
next morning everyones leaving
Ill never get the chance
to see her again
but leave my room, and the building find her
in a car filled with coats
a clutter of coats
I open the door, shes so sad
I sit in beside her
take her pretty face by the chin
you all right? I missed you last night
she motions with her eyes
towards the back seat
and there in the corner huddled beneath
a pile of coats is Philip O.
an old work buddy
staring at me through his thick glasses
OK well Ill talk to you later
have a safe trip home
I say to her
and slide back out of the car
watch from a window in the building
as the car drives off
and I never see her again
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