To The Fridge!
“To the fridge!” I screamed the Battle cry
“And no prisoners are to be left standing.
I want every can and bottle empty
I thundered out aloud and demanding.
Brain cells need to pop and explode
and sobriety kicked right in the balls.
To the fridge!” I screamed the Battle cry
Oblivion’s waiting for one and all!”
She Stuck Her Nose In My Neurosis
She slapped hard at my face
then she pulled at my hair.
In the depth of her eyes
I saw all the anger flare.
I said this would happen
right from the beginning.
But she refused to listen
she only saw us winning.
I hadn’t even let her down
I’d been truthful all along.
Yet, she would not believe
I cannot be happy for long.
She had faced my neurosis
but did not like the smell.
She spat a curse goodbye
then walked away from hell.
Bad To The Bone
He wants to be a big, hard man
for his reputation to spread.
All the way down into town
his very name people must dread.
He talks of jail and fighting
and of his treating women mean.
But I’ve never seen him with one
he’s the saddest man I’ve seen.
Dangerous Friendships
Whatever happened to loyalty
has it become like the unicorn?
As rare as desert raindrops
or roses grown without thorns.
Why do people accept treason
trade respect for sad lies?
Sacrifice an old friendship
so unthinkingly cut the ties?
Turn on the people who care
within a blinking of an eye?
Trample on hard earned trust
like it was easy to re-buy?
Giving yourself is horrible
it is like Russian Roulette.
You simply cannot trust anyone
for no one is ever a safe bet.
The Nipple Plumber
Mary had a little thrush
it itched away all day.
She placed on it a dock leaf
but it made her hair decay.
The magic mushroom elevator
is still out of order.
It seems we need 5 ring pulls
all the way from Mordor.
Don’t look at me inquisitively
curiosity is so very crude.
I have only one thing for you
and it’s extremely lewd.
Roll the dice, sucker!
the highest number wins.
A crown of insanity
a cranium full of sin.
Help, I think I’m sinking
No, it’s alright, I’m fine.
I exchanged roles for a moment
with a glass of red wine.
The DT’s are beautiful
when explored by someone else.
It’s all down to imagination
unlike sober commonsense.
The whisky keeps me moving
the beer chills my soul.
Every night is a carnival
each morning takes its toll.
To dance out of tune
to sing out of pitch.
Is always much better
than patting next doors bitch.
My days are now endless
my nights are berserk.
I need to find myself
a new kind of work.
Something that will see me
right on through the summer.
Hold on, I’ve got it
I’ll be a Nipple Plumber.
Drunk Again And Again
Tomorrow it will come
Tomorrow it will go.
And I’ll still be here
Drinking more and more.
Drinking my dinner
Drinking down my tea.
Exchanging my life
For a mask of insanity.
Dancing with death
Playing dangerous games.
Clutching tight to my
Liquid Zimmer- frame.
Bouncing off walls
Sleeping on floors.
Sitting amongst bottles
Listening to ‘The Doors.’
Waking with strangers
Asleep in my bed.
Swapping pain in my heart
For a pain in my head.
Just living my life
Day by day by day.
I don’t try to be different
I was born this way.
People say settle down
Try to act normal.
But I can’t live like that
To me it’s abnormal.
Drinking’s a way of life
The only life that I know.
Sobriety is tedious
Its pace is far too slow.
Drinking all day
Drinking all night.
Out of my head
Flying like a kite.
Steaming drunk today
Steaming drunk tomorrow.
If I can only keep getting
The money to borrow.
