homemade earring
when i was fifteen years old
i made a homemade earring
for my newly pierced ear
it was very different
it had one long silver chain
that dangled to my shoulder
& one shorter silver chain
about half its length
on the ends of each chain
were two different metal crosses
one cross i pulled from my
communion rosary beads
& the other from an old
set of rosary beads i found in
my mother's bedroom drawer
one cross had a tiny jesus pinned
on it w/ small silver tacks
but i wanted plain crosses
so i popped him off
w/ a screwdriver & tossed him
into an empty milk carton
in the kitchen garbage
the other jesus was inseparable
from his cross, it was like he had grown
out of it, so i took him into the garage
put him in my father's vice grip
& shaved him off w/ a steel file
when the cross was level i blew
the shavings off of the workbench
& went inside to finish my earring
the two crosses hung & spun & shined
back in school the earring was a hit
everyone complimented me on it
when my friends found out how i made it
they bragged to others how i had
filed jesus off the cross
they’d all laugh & call me a sick fuck
the earring became so popular that
some days i let it be passed around
each period for a different friend to wear
some offered small amounts of money
to get to wear it certain days
even the teachers were fascinated by it
then whoever was wearing it would mention
how it was made: filed jesus off the cross
& the teachers' eyes would widen
& they'd back away
from the dangling myth-making crosses
twisting & shining in their dim classroom
i
think
therefore
i
am
homo
cadaveris
just shrug, you son-of-a-bitch
be stoic
w/yr demons
they'll respect
you for it
demons feed on
flimsy guts
so cross yr legs
& wait
for the first rake
of the claws
& as the blood
trickles down
the tracks on yr back
shrug yr shoulders
& gaze at the stars
