It began innocently enough with the two exchanging glances
across the Theories of Personality class. Jon couldn't help but look at the
nerdy girl across the room. Jon lost himself in the moment as their eyes met.
Unbeknownst to Jon, he'd been staring at the girl for several minutes. Jon had
never had feelings for anyone in his life; he'd always been a loner, but for
some strange reason, he felt a connection to the girl across the room. Jon
began to question himself in his head.. then he began mumbling under his
breath. "What the heck is wrong with you?... that girl is a complete geek." The
guy in the chair in front of Jon turned around thinking that Jon's conversation
with the little voice in his head was meant for him. "What did you say?" Jon
shrugged his shoulders and whispered to the other student that he was talking
Jon had been in the class for thirty-minutes and hadn't taken a
single note. He looked down at his notebook to see a single word wrote multiple
times. "Undone." Jon looked around the room and came to the realization that he
was the only one there. The walls began to close in as Jon's pulse quickened.
Jon's hand began to tremble, and he noticed that there was a wet spot on the
desk where his left hand had been. Jon took a deep breath and wondered if he
was going crazy. Jon closed his eyes and could only see the nerdy girl's smile
beaming like a hundred dawns." I don't like that girl, she's so plain.. what in
the world is happening to me?" Jon gathered himself, put his notebook into his
bag and headed out of the classroom.
Jon tried not to think about the girl, but her face was all that
he could see. He looked at his watch and noticed he was going to be late for
work. After struggling with the notion of being head-over-hills in love with a
girl he'd never spoken to, Jon finally made it through the parking lot to his
car. Jon reached into his pocket to remove his key. He tried to unlocked the
driver's side door, but his hands were trembling so bad that he missed the
keyhole and scratched the door. "God damn, what the hell is going on? How can I
be so enamored with that stupid girl?.. she's so not my type."
Jon started his car and drove off of the campus onto Atlantic
Boulevard. Jon wasn't himself. He was stressed out of his mind as he
unknowingly ran a stop sign at a four way stop. Jon looked in his rearview
mirror, and couldn't believe that he failed to stop at the intersection. Jon
began to panic as raindrops hit the windshield. There was hardly a cloud in the
sky, but Jon tried to reassure himself that everything was okay. "It's just a
sun shower, that's all.. they're not that uncommon in Florida.. yeah, one
minute it's cloudy and raining, and the next it's sunny." Jon continued driving
toward the factory, but to his chagrin, he could only think of the curly-haired
girl wearing the black glasses held together with a large band aid.
After sitting at the stop sign across from the factory, Jon
decided that he was too tired to work, so he dialed his work number and entered
his supervisor's extension. Initially, Jon got the answering machine. "I hate
calling anywhere.. why the hell? Is it too much to ask to get a damn human
being on the phone for once? Computers are going to be the down fall of this
world." Jon slammed his cell phone down and punched the steering wheel as he
envisioned the girl in his mind. "God damn, I'm completely obsessed with that
damn girl. How the hell could I be in love with her? We've only exchanged a
couple of glances across a crowded room, and I didn't even think that she was
attractive. Is this what it means to be in love? If so, I don't want any part
of it! I can't be in love with her, she's all wrong for me."
Jon finally calmed down as he reached for his cell phone. After
multiple tries, Jon finally got his boss on the phone. "Hello, Carmen's office,
how may I help you?" Jon tried to speak, but he had a frog in his throat, and
once again, the walls began to close in as his hands trembled. Finally, Jon
managed to speak in a rough, grating voice. "I'll be out today.. I'm not
"Okay, get some rest, you sound horrible," said Carmen. Jon
nodded in agreement and hung up.
Jon felt like he was on fire. He knew that if he didn't get off,
he was going to unravel. Jon headed home to his apartment where his roommate
was sitting in front of the television smoking a cigarette and eating chips.
"Hey man, what's up? Aren't you supposed to be at work, Mr. Perfect
Attendance!" Jon nodded as he headed to the bathroom. Jon opened the cabinet
under the sink to get out a magazine. His roommate banged on the door as Jon
began to masturbate. "Hey, Jon.. what's up?" Oblivious to his roommate's
question, Jon continued to jerk off as he flipped through the pages looking for
a face to fixate on. Jon found a scantily-clad beauty, and stared at the page
until climax was imminent. As he was ejaculating on the sink, Jon looked at the
page and saw the nerdy girl with glasses smiling back at him. Jon stared into
the mirror and laughed at the paltry, dry-heaving puppet that he'd become. Jon
smiled, and knew for the first time in his life, what it meant to be in love.