A Memo on Customer Service
by Martin Green

 

To:  CEO XYZ Corp.

Re:  Customer Service Department

 

As directed, I have conducted a search of the Pacific area for a location for our new and improved customer service department.  As you may be aware, a number of our rival companies have established customer service departments in the Philippines.  The disadvantage of this location is that their workers expect American level salaries and many speak passible English.  I believe I have found an ideal location, a remote island west of the Phillipines where the natives speak English but with an accent making them hard to understand and they would be happy for the prestige of working for an American corporation to work for almost nothing.

As regards staffing, as our new updated automatic phone system is estimated to reduce the percentage of customers who have the patience to make their way through it to speak to a live person to an extremely low number, I believe we can start with half a dozen people.  They of course will read from a prepared script.  I do suggest we do add one person with some knowledge of our operations to deal with those few complaints that may threaten a lawsuit or involving a regulatory agency.

As you are aware, we have had a large number of calls to our current customer service department due to a few unfortunate defects in our product but I am confident that with this new and improved customer service this number will be reduced substantially.  Please let me know when I can proceed with putting the new customer service plan in place.

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