It was the summer of my
seventeenth birthday. The first one after Dad left home to live with the
lovely Linda. Not that Mum called her that; most of the names Mum called
her were unrepeatable.
The school holidays had
finally arrived and I was looking forward to two weeks away with them.
Two weeks of quality father and son time, kicking a football around on the
beach, playing cricket outside the caravan, finding the biggest rollercoaster
at the funfair and riding on it.
I mean, Mum tried really
hard to make me happy, but shes never been exactly sporty, just looking
at a big ride made her heave, and even if it hadnt, I dont think it
would have been quite the same going out with her. The fact of the matter
was, I missed the male company and seeing him for one day at the weekend once a
month wasnt enough.
I was in the bedroom
packing my case when my mobile rang. After rummaging around on the bed, I
eventually found it under a pile of neatly folded and ironed T shirts Mum had
just brought up to me. Only now, they werent neatly folded anymore
but lay in an untidy heap, looking much more in keeping with the rest of the
By the time I found it,
there was a missed call, his.
I phoned him
Look son, Im
sorry, theres been a change of plan. The holidays off
Im afraid, some other time, eh?
What do you mean the
holidays off? I asked. Youre supposed
to be picking me up in a couple of hours. You promised.
Yes I know, but
Lindas been rushed to hospital, nothing serious, but it looks like
shes going to have to rest in bed for a few days.
But we could go,
couldnt we? Just the two of us?
I dont think
so; it wouldnt be the same, somehow.
Too right it
wouldnt. It would have been better.
Ill see you
next Saturday; well have a game of footie in the park.
I terminated the call,
threw my phone on the bed and kicked my suitcase onto the floor. It
landed with a thud that caused my mum to run upstairs to see what had
After shed moaned
about the mess and the creases in the T Shirts, she took pity on me and gave me
some of my holiday money so I could go to see a film and buy a burger
afterwards. So I phoned my mate Gary and asked him if he wanted to
Mind you, by the time we
got home, I bet he wished he hadnt, because all I did was moan about Dad
and Linda and being let down at the last minute and that I was going to get my
own back on them, though I had no idea how.
I spent a few sleepless
nights trying to formulate a plan, but by the time I saw Dad at the weekend, I
still had no idea what I could do to make him and Linda suffer although I was
still determined that they would.
I suppose it was when I
found out that the reason for the holiday being cancelled was because Linda was
pregnant that something started to form in my mind. I dismissed the idea
of using Lindas growing bump as a punch bag almost as soon as it entered
my head. Ive never been exceptionally violent and I
dont think I could ever bring myself to hit a woman, pregnant, or
otherwise and while I did consider drowning the sprog as soon after birth as I
could get it on my own, I dismissed that idea too; probably for the same
baby-sitting at every opportunity so I could make his life hell on earth was
another possibility I dismissed, though I must admit it was, for a while, a
very tempting idea, but then I came to realise it wasnt really the poor
kids fault. He didnt ask to be conceived just before my dad
was supposed to take me away on holiday.
No, the people I really
wanted to get even with were my dad and Linda.
The lovely Linda, 20 years
younger than him, who had a reputation for putting herself about a bit and a
liking for anything in trousers.
Okay, so that was mostly my
mums view of her, but she hadnt been averse to sleeping with a
married man, so perhaps some of it was true and Id met her enough times
to know she was a bit of a flirt, because she was always flirting with
me. All I had to establish was how far shed actually go.
At seventeen and with no
steady girlfriend I certainly didnt need much encouragement. I
picked a night I was staying over, one when Dad had to work and waited till the
baby was tucked up in his cot and sleeping soundly. Then I made my
I started by being really
nice to her, you know, pouring her a glass of wine, that sort of thing, and
then I put my arm around her. Instead of the rebuff Id expected,
she actually nuzzled into my neck, so I kissed her and then I kissed her some
more. Then in my clumsy teenage way I fumbled with the buttons on her
blouse and unhooked her bra. By the time I slid my hand up her very short
skirt and into her knickers she was crying out for it so loudly I thought
shed wake the baby.
I expected to feel guilty
afterwards, but I didnt, although I think she did, because she kept on
saying that it should be our little secret and that my dad mustnt ever
find out. I said that was fine, after all, I knew when I was onto a good
thing and that her silence would come at a price.
Oh, I didnt blackmail
her, I just insisted on repeat performances once, twice, sometimes three or
four times a week.
I learned a lot from the
lovely Linda, in fact, she probably taught me everything I know about women,
she has some beautiful moves. Thats probably why my Dad likes her
She also has a very guilty
secret. Shes pregnant again, only neither of us believes that the
babys my dads. Were both almost certain its mine,
so I think Ive got my revenge.
Lindas left holding
the baby, Dads got to help with cost of its upbringing and me, I can sit
back and enjoy watching them get on with it, knowing that at some time in the
future, if I get tired of playing bedroom games with her, I can still resort to
blackmail to buy her silence.