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In the current edition of your bore-away Winamop Times:

Latest:

The top stories

Feature:

Page 94, our satirical essay. Cheer up, it could be worse..

News archive yesterday and beyond...

Other articles

 

Brexit update

Nothing's happened yet...


Brexit!!

Aaargh! What are we going to do now?

We go over live to our correspondent at Westminster.

Michael Gove (picture by Paul Grover / Rex Features)

Hello from Westminster. Nobody here has the foggiest idea what to do. It seems that most people have resigned or are being forced to resign or have just fallen asleep due to being exhausted by running around in small circles since the referendum result.
The Scots are uppity (no change there then) the Welsh are probably happy - it's hard to tell, the pound is worth 60 cents and the London stock-exchange has gone poo. Nigel Farage has denied that any of this is his fault and gone for a pint.
Back to the studio... Oh no, wait things have just taken a turn for the worse; Michael Gove has kicked Boris in the goolies and intends to become prime-minister. Lord preserve us! Aaargh! (noises off)

Oh dear, I think we've lost our Westminster correspondent, possibly for good. Kiss your children goodnight Britain and batten down the hatches.
Now here's the weather from Samantha.

It's pissing down as usual. What do you expect? It is mid summer after all...

MT



 

Be assured that Winamop operates to the very highest journalistic standards, all our stories are rated for truthfulness (if only the tabloids would do that!). We also drink vast amounts and are experts at bugging phones, shoving our feet in your doors and our cameras in your tear-stained faces.

Key:

T = True story

MT = Mostly true

L = Lies

PL = Probably Lies

LF = Lies based on Facts

UB = Utter Boll... err.. Balderdash!

Note: To comply with time-honoured journalistic practices, we only use single sources and never check our facts. If we cannot obtain firm information we make it up.
Rupert made us do it!



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