Nice car.
Hadrian waxes it Wednesdays.
Nice house.
Marlenes the best.
Nice suit.
Marlene arranges, monthly, for the tailor to come by.
Your hat is sporting.
Thank-you. My four year-old missed it when she puked.
Shouldve seen my jacket!
No nannies?
Nannybot. Bought it after Smith, Jones and Moon signed
that three book contract. Actually, kidding. No nannies. No nannybot.
Royalties?
And a handsome advance.
Good agent?
Not yet. Besides, Im making nowhere near what
youre pulling in. Your Harvey the Hedgehog series is still, twenty
months later, on the London Times list.
I wouldnt trust robots with progeny.
I wouldnt trust hired help not to loot.
Fair enough. One million point five.
Per book?
Per book, advances, not royalties. More for movie
rights. Quince Brothers begins filming this July.
Thereafter?
Another series. I fancy wombats or wildebeests.
Smith, Jones and Moon?
Naturally. Youre lucky I made your
introductions.
True.
So, more historical fiction?
Not sure. Kinda busy.
Do tell.
I became Bromleys Best Prose and
Poetrys Associate Editor last week.
Really?
And let Princess take me to school for Dads at
Work Day.
Surely, Smith, Jones and Moon wants you back.
Depends on sales. I did an open mike at Croydon.
Whitgift, more specifically.
Shopping Centre? Near Wellesley Road?
The one. Aquazoo hosted. I read two narratives and a
vignette.
Indeed. I thought Renaissance Books wanted to print that
collection.
Joint venture. I told them to stuff their bloomers with
goose fat.
Surely Weenie Volumes will still issue your assemblage
of essays? You received an advance.
No and yes. Cashed the check, but they didnt care.
Wombats? Smith, Jones and Moon asked for more mice and hedgehogs.
I detest rodents.
Wombats are marsupials. Marsupials are rodents.
Whats more, Harvey is a hedgehog. He is a rodent.
Technically, but wombats are not. Harveys anyway
best dead. Shall I ask Taavetti to bring tea?
You kill him in the next book?
Leos amazing.
Your agent?
My brother-in-law. The barrister.
Smith, Jones and Moon is an American house.
I use their London subsidy.
I saw you on WRAT cable TV
a book signing, I
think.
Phyllis sent a cute Instagram.
Shes not home? Was that you on the tele? Looked
like you. Where is Phyllis?
Tahiti.
Impossible. Shes afraid of flying. What about
Harvey? Why did you kill him?
I hired a yacht for her. Hows Emmy?
Got her cast off. Not ready to drive, yet. Tahiti by
ship?
Early birthday gift. Destinations become posh
again. Quaint, too. Gave her some jewelry, as well. Marlene sourced the
earrings for me. Phyllis made it easy. She emailed Marlene a URL to the catalog
of that fancy New York store before she hipped out. Phyllis had already filled
her electronic carriage, too. Marlene just had to complete the details.
Aquamarines their signature color. All of their
boxes are that odd shade. Why did you kill Harvey?
I think youre right about the blue. Odd
shade.
Price of Freedom.
Yes, she doesnt know about Beth.
I didnt either. Im talking about my next
book, the one for which I wanted your agents help. The one thats
not historical fiction. Did a hunter shoot him? Did he get flattened by a
bus?
Leo told me not to mix him up with other writers.
Hes a barrister. No actual agent? So how did the
hedgie die? Does Leo know about Beth?
Heres Taavetti. Do you like sugar? Look at this
jam for our scones. Rhubarb and ginger!
Clotted cream?
Here. Tell me more about your project. Youre not a
memoirist. Poetry doesnt sell. What are you writing? I prefer double
Devon, but Marlenes besoughted with Hadrian and as such
forgets things.
Like Beth?
A sorry topic. Maybe Leo could urge one of the junior
agents in his circle to look at your manuscript. When I was younger, I insisted
on red current and raspberry. Presently, I make do.
Wow! Norfolk Breakfast! Didnt known it came in
loose form. Why does Leo know agents?
Why does Leo represent my books? The loose tea is
Taylors of Harrogate.
has she been your mistress for a long time? Are you
going to tell Phyllis? Now, about the hedgehog
.
Did you ask Hadrian to wax your car? I told him to wax
it after you parked.
Took the bus. I need to pick up Princess soon.
Would a junior agent suit you?
Perhaps. I must finish writing, first.
I approve. Let me know.
I will, that. Im dabbling in biography.
Theres good money available for stories about the rich and famous.