prehistory brought to life
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by Michael Estabrook




Egyptian Spine Lizard

Spinosaurus aegyptiacus


The largest heaviest most dangerous carnivorous dinosaur

ever to slog through the northern African swamplands

bigger even than Giganotosaurus and Tyrannosaurus

Argentinasaurus and Sauroposeidon

Bruhathkayosaurus and Carcharodontosaurus (seriously!

how in the hell is anyone

supposed to know how to pronounce these absurd names?)


We had giant claws for hooking into water beasts

dragging them beneath to their certain demise

and also for fighting off giant crocs

our staunchest enemies and stiffest competition.


Over the millennia to better compete

with the crocs we developed croc-like snouts and teeth

for clamping down tight onto prey then rolling

thrashing them to death in the water

before tearing them to pieces for easier swallowing.


We grew gigantic “sails” down our backs but for what?

a cooling mechanism?

sexual display?

defensive structure?

Well I’m not saying for sure and you’ll never know for sure

because the only skeleton of us ever

to have been dug out of the dirt and preserved

was blown to smithereens during your World War II

obliterating us again 100 million years

after the first time. You people really do make me sick.



a line, (a short blue one)


Terror Bird

Kelenken guillermoi


Imagine if you will if you can if you dare

a creature nine feet tall nine feet long

500 pounds, razor talons, a giant hooked beak

the top predator in our world but with feathers yes

a bird, a bird fast as a horse big as a horse well that’s

what we were dominating the landscape

here in South America

where there were no wolves or giant cave bears

or snarly sabre-toothed cats

until 2 million years ago

when the stupid Panamanian land bridge appeared

rather miraculously if you ask me rising right up

out of the sea permitting the predatory carnivores

from up north to stream across

overrunning our lands stealing our food

and we simply could not compete and that was that.

Scientists refer to us as Terror Birds

descended directly from the mighty Tyrannosaurus rex.

We did them damn proud yes we did

for a long long time

and that is nothing to be ashamed of.

Just be thankful we are not still tromping around

the savannahs and jungles pummeling everything

in our path with our powerful sickle-hammer beaks

including people too if you got in our way.



a line, (a short blue one)



Latimeria chalumnae


For 65 million years we were extinct

until one of us was “discovered” in 1938

off the coast of South Africa

a dinosaur a living fossil they announced

making a big splash a fish

as large as a man wrapped in armor-like scales

with lobe fins and a trilobate tail.


Extinct my ass we were simply remaining alive

by staying the hell away from you people

living down deep in vast

labyrinthine underwater caverns.

To this date a few dozen of us

have been caught.

Are there many more of us thriving

along with other monstrous creatures

where we came from?


Don’t ask because you really don’t

want to know what else lurks

down in the murky depths of the oceans.

Best to keep all that relegated

to your nightmares.



a line, (a short blue one)



Gigantopithecus imaginationus


Bigfoot Sasquatch Mapinguari The Tall Man Yiren

Batutut Hibagon Hairy Wild Man Orang Pendek

Mogollon Monster Swamp Ape Yowie Himalayan Yeti

or simply the good old Abominable Snowman –

call us what you will but doubt us only

if you dare because we are everywhere.


We screech and shriek break your windows

steal and eat your hogs and goats

sheep and chickens make thunderous

tree knocks and quiet nests of leaf litter and twigs.


We’re not ghosts, vampires or zombies

werewolves, bogeymen or Neanderthals

we’re Bigfoots damn it! Proud intelligent humanoids

just like you even though

you can’t find us and never will – Ha Ha –

we leave only our footprints and tufts of hair behind

to tantalize you so you bet we’re out there all right

somewhere in your darkest night

and we’re on our way to your front door!



a line, (a short blue one)


Loch Ness Monster

Nessiteras rhombopteryx


Since before the Dark Ages

we have been lurking beneath

the deep freezing waters of Loch Ness

after having swam (or is it swum?)

quite by accident up Ness River from

the North Sea. The Vikings knew we were there

but knew better than to hunt us or search us out

better to let sleeping monsters lie!


Spotted for centuries, only becoming an obsession

for academicians politicians tourists sailors

monster hunters biologists cryptozoologists

(talk about whack jobs) nautical engineers

and hoaxers in 1933 after that first photo was taken

which spawned a clamorous cacophony of films

videos sonar images echo sound recordings

and various “scientific” expeditions.


So what are we? A surviving Plesiosaur family?

Giant Greenland Sharks or Sturgeons?

Gigantic eels, “Lake Worms” or Norwegian Skates?

A school of Bottlenose Dolphins? Some logs?

Sorry to disappoint but I’m not telling.

We’re having too much fun with you chasing us.

So keep it up you morons but please, please

for the love of God Stop Calling Us Nessie!

We’re Monsters for crying out loud!



a line, (a short blue one)



Marmennills sirena


Yes we do exist what an ignorant insulting question

the ancient civilizations knew

depicted us in their folklore and mythologies

Atargatis of Assyria, the Sirens of Greece (Homer

was no dummy), Melusina in Europe, the Babylonians

Chinese Japanese Hindus Africans Polynesians Columbus

even Blackbeard the Pirate

all saw us swimming the oceans

and don’t forget the prehistoric cave paintings

so for the love of God stop asking if we are real!


Like whales were once land mammals with hooves

returning to the sea 50 million years ago

so did we 7 million years ago

(the Aquatic Ape Theory look it up on your Internet).

Today we often travel with whales

for camouflage and protection.


In addition to our split fish-like tail

we have webbed hands, a hinged ribcage (for deep diving)

long flowing hair, and we’re bewitchingly beautiful

you’ve seen the paintings and sculptures.

But if you are still skeptical, what about

the Israeli town of Kiryat offering a $1,000,000 reward

for the first photograph of one of us!

What about that? $1,000,000!

Now you know for certain we exist so go ahead

catch us if you can.




a line, (a blue one)


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