The Ant and the Grasshopper
were at the bar, drinking. The Grasshopper, as always, looked
bright and cheerful. The Ant looked glum.
Ill have another one, said the Grasshopper.
And give another one to my friend The Ant here. He
looks as if he could use it.
What are you so happy
about? said the Ant.
celebrating, said the Grasshopper. As everyone
knows, we grasshoppers are happy-go-lucky fellows. When it came time for
me to go to work or go to college I of course went to
college. As you might expect, I didnt do much
studying. I went to a lot of parties and had a good
time. The college didnt care; they were getting their
money. So I got a degree in transgender studies or something
like that. But Id racked up a lot of student debt and
have no way to pay it. Now the government says it will
forgive my student debt. Thats what Im
celebrating. Why are you looking so glum?
Well, for one thing,
as everyone knows we ants are serious and hard-working. I
went to college too and studied hard. I got a degree in
engineering. I also had to pay that unreasonably high tuition and
ended with a lot of student debt. I worked at two jobs to pay
it off and so Im broke. Now I see that I was played for
Looks like it,
said the bartender, giving the Ant his drink.
Thats not all
Im celebrating about, said the Grasshopper.
The government decided that because we grasshoppers had such a bad
reputation as neer-do-wells wed been discriminated against all
these years so weve been designated a victim group and have first choice
in jobs and everything else. Maybe well even get
I was just laid off
from my job, said the Ant. They said I belonged
to a privileged group so I was the first to go.
laughed. Youre really having a hard
time. I didnt tell you the latest. A
bunch of us grasshoppers raided some farmers cornfield yesterday and ate
all we could. The farmer called the police and they arrested
us but the judge said it was just a misdemeanor so let us off without
bail. Were going to get together tomorrow and raid
another cornfield. I better be going now so I can get up
I better be going,
too, said the Ant. I have to go to the
Unemployment Insurance Office in the morning.
An older man whod
been sitting at the end of the bar and writing in a notebook also got up to
leave. He was shaking his head. Good
night, Mr. Aesop, said the bartender. Everything
Ill have to
make some changes in this thing I was writing. I guess times