£10.97 by Phil Robertson

 

Within my veins there runs an urge
that temperance can never purge:
to take the golden water, pure -
my ancestral homeland’s great allure.

 

But not for me Glenlivet tender -
what I like when on a bender
is something that, when going down,
causes me to squint and frown.

 

It’s Asda’s cheapest amber blend
that scrapes my throat when it descends.
And blood infused with malt (or grain)
reminds me of my roots again.

 

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