At the First, and necessarily the Last, Intrer-Disciplinary
Congress, held in UIan Bator at an unspecified date, a Theologian named Lars
Porsena, Professor of Comparative Implication at Lohengrin University, seized
the maverick physicist, Dr Quantum, by an available protuberance and shook him
to and fro.
"You unmitigated scounder, " he bellowed, "What do you mean by
drivelling incessantly on about Absence and Nothing? Everything is Something or
it wouldn't be here, and neither would you! And if it isn't here, where is it?
And what about God, the source of all things, eh. you heathen boundrel? Where
IS God? Answer me at once, immediately and without delay, or by Jings I'll
force you forth into the depressing drizzle! Do you hear me, you iniquitous
As soon as Quantum had regained possession of his protuberance
and his teeth had stopped rattling like bones in a box, he replied soberly, as
befits a scholar of dubious repute:
"Your attack is well-merited, duII sage, and you shall know the
results of my experimental postulations herewith. They are as follows: The
mystery-essence in Nature, were it to be found, would reside not in Order but
in Randomness. This means, of course, despite your ungentlemanly threat to
nearby protuberances, that it is the Indefinable which makes freedom possible,
and the Improbability or No-thing known as God will always have another card up
its invisible and possibly nonexistent sleeve no matter what immaterial
discoveries are theoretically made. So let us therefore rejoice, like leaves on
a lamp-post." At that point he departed suddenly, like a Portuguese lizard.
"Aargh! Gack!" cried the Professor as he limped away in search
of certainty and a cup of tea..