There was a young lady from Wapping...
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Silly Ditties.

Ode to a Policeman by JBP.

My mother had a copper
He was always on the beat.
He often told a whopper
And he had enormous feet.

Ode to Tea by JBP.

When in doubt
As your teeth fall out
And your bald head
Drabbles in the mud

Have a cup of tea
Thus: swig.

When in pain
Bloated by the rain
And the moccasins of fear
Patter down your ear

Have a cup of tea
Thus: swig.

When you quail
And grow quite pale
At your mirrored face
(Like a carp or a dace)

Have a cup of tea
Thus: swig.

When your bones go snap
And babies widdle in your lap
And the legions of despair
Grapple with your hair

Have a cup of tea
Thus: swig.

For tea in a cup
Does your moral laces up
Simplifies your complications
And dissipates your suicidal inclinations

So have a cup of tea
Thus: swig.

Trousers by DA

My trousers are too tight
The button's popping off
The outlook's not too bright
I think I'm going to cough!

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