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How Are You?!                                                                       by Nancy Gauquier


No, really, how are you?


Are you really terrible? 

Does anyone really wanna know? 

Why do we ask? 

If you’re on the verge of suicide,

you always say – fine.

‘Cause you know

what you’re not supposed to say. 

You are not supposed to say:

Well, I’m broke, I’m tired,

I’m allergic to something and I don’t know what,

but I fear it might be something unavoidable,

 like life. 

I’m so depressed and in debt,

I make the US economy

and the national deficit look good.

I’m thinking about suicide

but I’m not sure

how to go about it. 

I’d slit my wrists

but that could be painful. 

I’d take all my sleeping pills at once,

but what if I get a nightmare

and can’t wake up?

I’d put my head in the gas oven,

but all I have is a microwave.

I guess I could put my head in the microwave.

 But I’d have to cut it off first,

‘cause I can’t turn it on

until the door is shut!

That could be painful.

No one wants to hear this.

Or what if you say:

Hey, I’m great! 

I just won the lottery!

I’m so happy,

I’ve got a blue chip on my shoulder!

I’m so rich,

I’m thinking of investing in real estate!

Becoming a slum landlord!

Investing in Microsoft!

And voting Republican!

No one wants to hear that.

Or what if you say:

Life is just a gray blur.

My head is in a fog.

I can’t feel a thing.

I’m totally turned off.

I’m in some kind of deep psychological shock

due to all the greed and selfishness

in this cruel capitalistic society.

I don’t have the energy to get a headache.

No one wants to hear it!

Who has the time to listen anymore? 

We’re all overworked and underpaid.

I’m so busy, I don’t even know how I am.

People say, how are you,

and I have to stop and think.

I get in touch with my deep inner self

by consulting the Tarot.

If I end up with the devil or death,

I know I really am depressed.

Funny how that works.

But it’s so easy to get into denial.

I just keep dealing until I get the Sun

or the Moon or the Lovers –

technically, that’s cheating –

but that’s life –

you just keep dealing.


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© Winamop 2005