More Poems by Joshua Coetzee

Why Me , I Don't Want This Gift

I find myself in a self imposed exile from life.

Things which once gave me joy now give me none at all.

For I pay penance for past grievous hideous sins.

The charges against me, I thought long forgotten, only visiting me in dreams from time to time being not remembered by that first cup of coffee.

The dreams come more frequent now with detail that would make reality seem a dream.

Drugs replace the first cup of coffee in the morning.

The innocence died many years ago when in other's eyes, I began to see there truth, not a dream , like I was there.

Now I will die daily in mine, paying the price for a gift I NEVER WANTED.

I dream now when awake

and wish I could go back to sleep.

The Kiss

It seems now like an event, when in fact it was no more than a logical expression when words would not be spoken.

Or maybe, as I ponder it, was in fact what it seemed to be...........

Just a need to touch physically what had been a void and a desire to touch a freshness never known.

Regardless, it appears now, with sad eyes which peer through a fog lifting, that my need to savor the moment was mine alone to remember and hold.

The remembrance is shadowed by a cautious participant who had lost much in previous encounters and unlike the adventurer ...... was......

not willing to step into the fray. So here in the fray I still stand.

A moment of eternity encased in love's dawning light, a kiss shared and shared again in brevity of desire.

It is to this moment standing still do I write, lest I forget the testament to love Which we all require.

But how could I forget. Every detailed account of the event plays in my head like a record that skips upon a favorite verse, while being my solace in your absence, which you represent the softness, the care, and the reoccurring theme I miss.

Our lips touched just briefly, my heart pounding in my hands.

Not touching flesh for fear I would crush my flower. Yet desire so devoutly , so softly , so intent to intertwine with you.

but I lacked in my spirit to equate with my flesh this power.

For your fear revealed itself upon those lips unknown.

And I could not discount that fear with my own.

Silent Scream , Exploding Dream.

I want to scream

To smile and want

for nothing else

but you

To think for now on

of no one else

but you and I forever !!!

and I know we never

thought that this would

come

to this

when we knew bliss.

and all the dreaming

the Dreary harts

that pass us by

could

only wish

that one day maybe they

would smile too

like me and you

FOREVER !!!

CAT GOT YOUR LIFE (Crystal-Meth Dream)

This Day I'm Finished ????

This Day I'm Done ?????

No More Walking In The Dark

With That Gun.

Thank God.

I Never Shot Myself.

Just For Fun ????

STOPLIGHT

Two people meet at a stoplight and in on chance stare Wonder what it would be like to trade places, one with the other...

A man in a car, driving nowhere.

a woman on a bike, wondering.

the world passes as they stare. both feel something, a need for something.

Her legs are sore from riding, she stopped caring hours before.

His back is sore from driving, he has many hours more.

To him his car is a cell to take him from work and home.

To her the bike is hell, her with the elements alone.

To him the bike is liberty, free from the four wheeled cell.

To her the car is sanctuary, a place to heal and become well.

And in that single glimpse, each's agony the other's dream.

Of what could have been, just as the light turns green.

Swing.

The rusty old swing fell to the ground.

Shaking the souls of all around.

Nothing remained but a pile of dust.

Filled with memories covered with rust.

No one was the same after that day.

Slowly, they each drifted away

Carrying a song they would forever sing

In memory of the old rusty swing.