Oh Good, we're having an election!
As if it weren't bad enough that we're having to negotiate our
way out of one of the most bureaucratic organisations in the word - the
European Union, our undemocratically unelected prime-minister has seen fit to
throw a spanner in the works and call a general election.
For those of you in countries unafflicted with a democratic
government, a general election basically means that every politician stops
doing anything useful and starts swanning around the country annoying everyone
with endless public appearances.
You'll be about your business, shopping or whatever, when
suddenly you are accosted by some political activist with a leaflet in his
You'll be strolling through town when you become aware of an
unpleasant noise. As you round the corner you discover that the noise is being
generated by a politician broadcasting his febrile thoughts through a
loudspeaker system in the town square.
You'll turn on the TV only to find that your favourite programme
has been replaced with a "Party Political Broadcast" or some tedious
pontificating by journalists on the subject of the previous tedious
pontifications of the politicians.
On your way to work you'll be disappointed to discover that the
rather eye-catching Marks & Spencer underwear posters have all been
replaced by pictures of Theresa May or Jeremy Corbyn trying to look prime
Your anti-social media outlet of choice - be it Face-Ache or
Twatter - will be cram full of posts by political lobbyists and random
invective directed back at the lobbyists.
As for the "news"papers...
Thankfully it'll all be over on June 9th and I can venture
Until then I'm staying in bed with a good book.