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The first Winamop literary award for "Unwritten Novel of the Year" has been won by Theodore Lemuel Numskull for "Where?".

Have you noticed that every other novel has on the flyleaf the information that its author has won the Thingman and Bootle Prize for Literary Imposture, the Nocturnal Award for Rotating Novellas, the Dripping Dagger Award for Thrilling Romances, the Ace of Spades Presentation for Pretentious Prose, the Swiss Roll Prize for Previous Prizes and so forth and so on etcetera? So we thought that the logic of events forced into being the above announcement.

Although the Winamop Award has not heretofore existed it has already received massive endorsement from edifying and egregious sources, more or less as follows:

Sharp as a dustbin. Boloney Times.

Imagination is here entrapped by spasms of non-utterance. Jeremy Periscope in 'Gardening by Numbers'.

Infinity could not be nearer. Sebastian Notwell, 'New Literary Notes'.

Our faculties are expanded and inebriated by the force of this luminous absence. Gerard Quillington,' Jerry Builder's Poetic Manual'

Who could quarrel with the non-existence of this imaginary verbiage? Dorcas Kazoo in 'Yowlers and Bawlers Musical Review.'

Much is avoided in these pages, to the delight of its loyal readership. Numskull is here at the top of his bent. Lydia Cherish, 'Dead Poets Digest.'

A vivid imagination here ushers in the existential void. Professor Fosdick Error. University of Ossex and Ussex.

With lazy emphasis an imaginary world invades our veins. Jack Spratt in The Ogre's Gazette'.

And to press home one more meaningless question - Is not this enough to proclaim the awesome talent of Theodore Lemuel Numskull in his unwritten masterpiece, 'Where?'


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